How to embed quotes

Ideal Goal: 

If you were to read your embedded passage out loud, your audience should NOT be able to tell when your words end and the author’s begin.

How do you achieve this feat?

• Begin with YOUR words first.  Then, smoothly incorporate your passage into the sentence.  What should you say?  Explain what’s happening, who’s doing what, and/or, if the passage is dialogue, who is talking to whom.

Ex:  On the train, the narrator watches Eugene from his seat as the awkward boy attempts to “. . . reduce the absurdity of his situation by grinning as he did in every direction.” (1105)

• Use only the important part of the passage—the part that best proves your theme and relates to your technical element.  It should be no longer than TWO typed lines.

• Avoid using phrases such as “he says,” “replies,” “states,” etc., when introducing your passage.  The repetitive nature of reading “he says” and then “she says” and then “he says” bores the reader and SHOUTS to the audience, “I AM NOW ABOUT TO QUOTE SOMETHING FROM THE STORY!”—it’s not sophisticated.

Instead of:  The narrator says he “want[s] to know Talbot Nevin” because of his

overpowering ambition to gain powerful friends and to remove any traces of his former life.  (1106)

How about:  The narrator “want[s] to know Talbot Nevin” because of his…”?

• Make sure your verbs are in present tense. 

In your analysis, use “shows” instead of “showed” – “grows” instead of “grew.”

In your embedded passages, bracket verbs that you need to change to present.

Ex: The narrator “want[s] to know Talbot Nevin . . . “

           

• When necessary, change all first person pronouns (I, me, us, we) to third person

(he, him, she, her, they, them).  Again, use brackets to mark anything you change.

            Ex:  The doctor remembers that he had “seen at least two children lying

            dead in bed of neglect in such cases, and feeling that [he] must get a

            diagnosis now or never, [he] went at it again.” (104)

• If you choose to drop any words from the middle of a passage (because they aren’t relevant or meaningful—but NOT because they contradict your analysis), use an ellipsis to show the omission.

Ex: The doctor remembers that he had “seen at least two children lying

            dead in bed of neglect…and feeling that [he] must get a

            diagnosis now or never, [he] went at it again.” (104)